ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
He smiles,
She melts.
He tells her he loves her
And she's special to him.
She says thank you.
Later on, he gives a command,
She runs off and does it for him.
Why?
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks he's her forever.
Again, he gives a command,
More dangerous, more risky than the first.
She hesitates, but does it anyway.
Why?
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks he's her forever.
A final command is given to her.
"If you do this correctly," he promises,
"I will marry you."
The girl nods, horrified.
He has asked her to do so many things,
So many dangerous things.
But she still loves him.
He has beat her, taken her pride,
Stripped her of her good name
And her ability to think correctly.
Why?
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks he's her forever.
Now she is lying in the street,
Her body beaten, broken and
bloody.
She has failed the command given to her.
The one she loved has left her.
What is she to do now?
Is she to move on with her life,
Or go search for someone to
Help her?
She hears his commands in her
Pretty little head,
This time, she turns her head.
Turns her head away from her past,
She has smartend up and is moving on.
Why?
She thought was in love.
She thought he was her forever.
But she was a pawn...
Only a pawn of his work.
And a little thing he liked to call,
"Love."
She melts.
He tells her he loves her
And she's special to him.
She says thank you.
Later on, he gives a command,
She runs off and does it for him.
Why?
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks he's her forever.
Again, he gives a command,
More dangerous, more risky than the first.
She hesitates, but does it anyway.
Why?
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks he's her forever.
A final command is given to her.
"If you do this correctly," he promises,
"I will marry you."
The girl nods, horrified.
He has asked her to do so many things,
So many dangerous things.
But she still loves him.
He has beat her, taken her pride,
Stripped her of her good name
And her ability to think correctly.
Why?
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks he's her forever.
Now she is lying in the street,
Her body beaten, broken and
bloody.
She has failed the command given to her.
The one she loved has left her.
What is she to do now?
Is she to move on with her life,
Or go search for someone to
Help her?
She hears his commands in her
Pretty little head,
This time, she turns her head.
Turns her head away from her past,
She has smartend up and is moving on.
Why?
She thought was in love.
She thought he was her forever.
But she was a pawn...
Only a pawn of his work.
And a little thing he liked to call,
"Love."
Suggested Collections
It happens all the time...It's sad but true....
Comments28
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall
Vision Originality
Technique ImpactThis reminds me of a story I heard about dating violence...
*gets critique words ready*
As a previous critque I did for you, it appears that you properly displayed the "Love is Blind" motif. Nicely done! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="20" height="20" alt="
" title="Clap" />It appears this could be a "first love" as well, and and I like how you state that she thinks this love could be forever, and she continues to think that even after the pain :
She hesitates, but does it anyway.
Why?
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks he's her forever.
Eventually, after being used, abused, and potentailly drained, she finally realizes that it was all a ruse, but only after she gave everything up... sad... <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title="Crying" />I love it! Nicely done! I'm not worthy to be in your presence! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/g/g…" width="17" height="15" alt="
" title="Giggle" />