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Literature Text
You hold my hand and smile at me.
Touch my cheek and dry the tears.
Say it's alright, and you'll be there when I wake.
The night is young, let's go have some fun.
I want you here with me, you see.
The light is fading, the stars are shining.
Can I have one more night like this?
A run to the top of the hill,
Rolling down the side of it,
Laughing as we go.
We reach the bottom
And go do it all over again.
Can I have one more night like this?
Spending time with you.
Better than a friend,
More than a companion.
You, I want to spend
Forever and a day with.
Can I have one more night like this?
Just one more kiss, one more hug,
Once more touch upon my cheek.
Can I please have one more night like this?
Please?
Touch my cheek and dry the tears.
Say it's alright, and you'll be there when I wake.
The night is young, let's go have some fun.
I want you here with me, you see.
The light is fading, the stars are shining.
Can I have one more night like this?
A run to the top of the hill,
Rolling down the side of it,
Laughing as we go.
We reach the bottom
And go do it all over again.
Can I have one more night like this?
Spending time with you.
Better than a friend,
More than a companion.
You, I want to spend
Forever and a day with.
Can I have one more night like this?
Just one more kiss, one more hug,
Once more touch upon my cheek.
Can I please have one more night like this?
Please?
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Don't really know what to say about this....
But, hell, it's always fun to write the poetry, ne?
But, hell, it's always fun to write the poetry, ne?
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Comments9
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Overall Vision Originality
Technique ImpactI really, really, really like this... More than I can say, I really like this!
*gets down to business--- Critique-wise, that is (he-he)*
This poem, to me, sounds like a "first-love" kind of feeling.
Though love is rough, you reveal all the happy feelings, which I love (and I'm sure others do too)!
Although it may sound childish, The line about rolling on the hill and doing it again and again... It really exudes the child within us all, and how when your with someone you love, it doesn't matter how you act, because your so blind with love, you really don't care about anyone but your partner/lover... (maybe I'm over thinking this... <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="19" height="19" alt="
" title="Shrug" />)The last stanaza ask for just one more affection of love, then one more night, and how I see it, it'll just make the writer want another night, then another, and another ect...
Beautiful, beautiful... <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="20" height="20" alt="
" title="Clap" />